Are we ever just this one thing?

I think not.

Unless we only evaluate in the space of frozen time.

My girl, my prior header on my previous design blog, she shines; yet, I changed her time and time again. I have photos of her change, all of which I have not posted.  it was an expose of moments and I dared to paint and repaint the canvas.

The point is, none of us are ever just one thing, and when we judge others, we freeze them in time.  We see an encapsulated moment, while still, perhaps, allowing ourselves evolution.

Ah, so now what, my friends, now what?  Shall we move on?

Our Get out of the Box page, as well as Humanitarian Efforts and poetry and writing page are periodically updated. The Open Letter to God page, is a static page, remaining that way to allow for and welcome new comments. It is anticipated that we will update as time goes on to provide more letters to God.
Last night, we received a comment on our most recent post on Get Out of the Box, which we wanted to highlight and share with you today.

We look forward to more comments!

“In the book `Conversations with God’ the author asks why God allows such things as these to occur. God replies by saying, `Why don’t you?’ ( A collective ‘you’ as well as individual). In the course of reading from Mr. Walsch’s and God’s Conversations I begin to see that, while God could do anything, what ‘She’ will do is another thing. We can’t condition The Unconditioned by saying ‘It’ will or won’t do such and such, but it is clear enough, that while we are here, God would like to see US, WE, proceed to do the kinds of things you are aspiring to. WE, with God, can do anything, but it’s like we are be asked to make up our minds about what is important to us, and to behave accordingly. Our eternal lives do not begin at death. If they did, they would not have been Eternal! We are now, even with bodies, amidst our eternal lives- all
of us!

A program called Humanities Team is very much involved in helping the planet awaken. It declares `We are One’. You + I + God = ONE. It also declares” Ours is not a better way. Ours it but another way.”

( This name and address ‘cell’ is getting in the way of writing!)

Best to you, me,
Dave”

dave
April 23rd, 2007

We normally ask for others to share thoughts and ideas existing where people are trying to join together. This week Dave has highlighted a collective consciousness program which declares “We are One”.

For further information, go to the following websites:

Neal Donald Walsch, author of Conversation with God Series or go directly to Humanity’s Team Website.

Once upon a time

A long, long time ago

(I think)

there was a peach tree

and a village

which grew

around it.

Many

Many

Many Grandmothers

and

Grandfathers

grew up around the peach tree.

The peach tree watched

the children’s birthdays.

Watched them grow.

Marry.

Have babies.

Who

would

have

babies.

Birthdays

around

the peach tree.

The peach tree

watched

friends grow

who did not know they

were friends.

The candles lit

in the homes.

It sighed.

The candles flickered

through the night.

One night,

a cold wind blew.

And blew,

and blew.

The peach tree

shook

in its roots.

It shivered.

He remembered,

seeding.

Little seed.

Placed in the ground.

Furrow.

drawn into

and apart

from

the earth.

dry

arid

dirt.

red

against the sky.

brown limbed fingers

dropping

uprepared

alone

yet

joined

fingers

dropping

me

into the ground.

The darkness

sitting

time

lost

no meaning

finding how to breath

within the dirt,

time passed.

I would call out,

a voice,

remembering,

my mother.

growing inside of her.

celebration.

of.

light.

the Sun.

Worship.

harshness,

the hands,

plucking to be fed,

the teeth.

Searing into

my skin.

“Momma?”

“Momma?”

not even the gift of silence.

pure.

remorseless.

drenched into me,

not yet born.

greed.

Yachts,

slapping at me.

I must stop this now.

this torture.

I was taught,

to reach,

toward light.

I call out.

Again.

Cry.

Sing.

Murmer,

last breath,

against,

the red sky.

I grew,

without breath,

taller.

I hold on,

for Mother.

I stood beneath

the ground

waiting.

I can see.

Light.

Mother?

I look around

trees

cut upon

thatched

adorning “homes”.

flattened

against the sky.

Mother?

I’m naive.

I have not yet coordinated the right tag words to the consequent tag surfing.

So be it.

Yet, I recognize certain principles to be true. And yes, perhaps it is very Toltec of me, I belive we have each our own version of truth.

In the meantime, rules for blogging:

1. See it

2. Read it

3. Feel it

4. Hear it

Then,

ask yourself,

if the curtain were drawn back,

would you be tall enough,

to withstand your post or comment?

*design compliments of www.cafepress.com/whozridingwho (copyrights fully reserved)

Namaste

Within the last day or so, I came across a blog about Kiva.org…click to direct link…and I have been thinking about the concept of Kiva.org off and on since I have seen this post. This is not the first time I have heard of this concept, but this time, after reading the blog posting, it stayed in my head.

“Changing Lives w/ Kiva.org

Posted by James under Charity , Websites

A friend of mine just turned me onto this organization that does some pretty amazing things so I wanted to share it with you all. The basic premise of it is that they create a system where people can lend money to entrepreneurs in third world countries so they can get a business off the ground. Then, once they do, the donors are repaid. We’re not talking about starting corporations or anything here, either.

For example, I was told of one story where a a woman had a peanut butter business in which she was pressing the peanuts by hand. Someone loaned her $50 with which she was able to buy a machine to press the peanuts. She tripled her production and was able to repay her donor almost immediately. Pretty awesome that the type of money that we piss away in a bar in one night can be used to make such a significant, direct, impact in someone’s life.

If you would like to get involved, please click here and do so.”

This morning on NPR.org I listened to a program about children working 12 hours a day without the hope of ever paying off the debt their family incurred, creating their indentured servitude.

BBC News: Bonded to the loom: March 29, 2007

Wikepedia: Debt Bondage

NPR: International Slavery: 2001

Kiva.org makes me wonder, is there a way to reach out and begin the end to this daily inhumanity?

By chance…(is there chance?)…I clicked upon a blog that spoke of Cosmic Ordering. The author translates “Cosmic Ordering” into a phrase fairly well known today, The Law of Manifestation.

The author, Kathryn Cassidy, has a series of articles within her blogspot talking about the Law of Attraction/Cosmic Ordering/Universal Laws. She higlights a new film being released on May 10, 2007, called “Pass it On”. For anyone who has seen The Secret, this sounds like the next movie must-see………..

“Sunday, April 08, 2007

PASS IT ON

If you have seen the film about the Law of Attraction called The Secret, you will definitely not want to miss Pass It On. It is an interactive motion picture that delves into the questions everyone has been asking for centuries; How do I become Wealthy? What do I do with my ideas? How can someone find their passion? What does it take to truly be Happy?

The film premieres on May 10th 2007. The idea is that if each person ‘passes it on’ we can make a worldwide, positive change to the perception of how we create our own opportunities and happiness – and ultimately our entire reality.

If you are visiting this blog for the first time, it contains information (that I know works) about manifesting. You’ll probably need to read from the bottom upwards, as some posts link into the next and they post on top of the older one.”

copyright 2007

Mother

I ask You

to tell me

I know nothing

suckle sweet

the milk

my mouth turning

in its innocence

you cannot

see or hear me

I am a gnat

buzzing at your skin

not drawing blood

annoying

nonetheless

I turn

my head

my lips

my life

to you

copyright 2007

I find my way to You

between the shrilling

ringing of the phone

the blare of horns

the hum

of the computer

I close my eyes

clear away

the veil of darkness

descended

since waking

hooking my smallest finger

into the edge

of the fabric

closest to my right eye

tugging

a sliver of light

paved stones

trees blanketing

vision to the left and right

blurring

the apex

You stand

glowing

arms outstretched

I remain

tugging

at the fabric

my finger grown tired

the light fades 

copyright 2007

If I could

dip my hand

into the dimensions

cup my hand

right and left

feel the surge

of energy

right what is wrong

with this world

If I could 

dip my hand

into time and space

and but see

the particles

shift and dance

a part of me

If I could dip

my hand

across the sky

scoop up 

peace

I could sift

parallel worlds

sit them side by side

upon the ground

If I could

dip my hand

within the sky

stop seeing with my eyes

stop breathing with my brain

If I could dip

my hand

within the sky

forget what I have been taught

and find the child in me

If I could dip 

my hand within the sky

would I

could I

feel what it is to create

the love of creation

bathing over me

Wikepedia provides a comprehensive overview on the law of attraction, the pros and cons, the claims by skeptics of pseudoscience.

In essence the introdutory definition is: “you get what you think about; your thoughts determine your destiny.”^[1]

(References and footnotes: Redden, Guy, Magic Happens: A New Age Metaphysical Mystery Tour, Journal of Australian Studies: 101: Louise Hay, “the Queen of Affirmations”,(9) believes that “our thinking creates our reality”. In short, if one’s consciousness is in tune with the “whole”, creation becomes a resource from which we can manifestsynchronicity. According to Hay’s bestseller, “You Can Heal Your Life”(10), your life can be transformed by never dwelling on the negative, as the “metaphysical principle of life” is the “law of attraction”: you get what you think about; your thoughts determine your destiny.)”

Perhaps we sometimes approach topics too simply here at SurfaceEarth, regardless, it appears that the Law of Attraction requires action and positive thought.

Um, what’s so wrong with that?

Again, Wikepedia concisely states the criticism of the Laws of Attraction:

“Criticism

Some critics say that the claims made about the scientific justification of the Law of Attraction are not supported by any mainstream scientific research, and there have been no widely recognized studies demonstrating that the principle actually works (there are a number of recognized studies in which positive thinking has not had a measurable effect on objective conditions, while conversely scientific studies involving the use of placebos support the principle of positive thinking). Skeptics have claimed that the explanations of the claimed law (and even the use of the term “Law” itself) misuse and misrepresent mainstream understandings of electromagnetism and quantum mechanics in a way often characteristic of pseudoscience. In dismissing the claimed effectiveness and anecdotal testimony about the success of the Law of Attraction, skeptics argue that it is nothing more than a round-about means of self-motivation and a confirmation bias applied to acts of increased risk-taking, and has no further metaphysical effects.[1]“

See Footnote 1 reference above.

The harm in following the Law of Attraction is what exactly?

You become more positive?

You increase your energy?

You lessen the burden on others who no longer have to bear your angst?

The most recent articles on Saturn further convince me why it is so difficult to believe you and you alone have the best and only position, perception, religion, culture, etc.

Look how little we know…………..Astronomy.com provides a great overview…………..

“Saturn’s polar hexagon

This geometric feature on Saturn is similar to Earth’s polar vortex, and may give scientists clues about the the true rotation of the ringed planet.

Provided by JPL

This nighttime view of Saturn’s north pole shows the six-sided hexagon feature encircling the entire north pole. The red color indicates the amount of heat generated in the warm interior of Saturn that escapes the planet. NASA/JPL/University of Arizona

Astronomy Magazine Online

Space.com

Which movie do I need to cite?

Which news article?

How many crying children does it take?

There are more of us than “them”.

There are multitudes of us that would not harm another like the harm we see on television, in the newspaper, on the internet, in the blogs—-there are more of us………..how can we figure it out?

POST, COMMENT, DO WHAT YOU WILL, BUT SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS….one of you might yet make the difference.

Your children are his expression

I can’t even speak about this

go to cnn.com

that’s all you have to do

what’s the difference in what little ms. sunshine taught us?

Dear Lord.

It’s me.

I’m back.

Right, I know, kidding you, yes?

As if you do not know me before my moments of realization.

I laugh out loud God.

I have doubted you, I have doubted you and doubted you.

I doubt you today.

Yet, I always come back to where I think you are, my second voice, my second skin, myself outside of knowing.

I look around Lord, I don’t know what I am seeing.

I don’t know what I am doing.

I watch the news and I cry and I don’t know how to stop.

There are many that would say, buck up kiddo. Get on with it. Maybe I have walked in shoes I don’t wish upon others. Maybe I don’t know how I wound up in such shoes only ever wanting to make others happy, to be a law abiding American.

Maybe it doesn’t matter.

Here I am.

There you are.

It’s temporal.

It’s me the girl child climbing the highest tree, not sure how to get down, but unwilling to let the neighborhood boys beat me at it. Above the kitchen window of my home, establishing, hey ma, here I am.

Dear God,

I ask for you everyday, every morning upon waking. I see the news headlines of you in the sky, is there a media conglomerate? I see the Virgin Mary, not so Virgin, spread against the sky. I see the celebration of life, tribulation, I see the jokes in the sky. The Celestial Jibjab on-sky.

I see you.

I feel you.

I know.

So what?

Now what?

I’m tempted to leave it at that.

When all else fails, simply state: “baloney & cheese”.

When someone’s words don’t fit the facial expressions or energy coming out of them, simply state: “you lie like a rug”.

That’s it, you are done.

You are not compelled to convert them.

Say your peace and go bask in the glory of the day, even if you have to shut them in a closet. (Kidding, kidding!)

And yes, these are my personal expressions, consider them copywritten, t-shirts to follow….happy Saturday.

Jump on board. LookSeeSaw.wordpress.com has posted a piece, a humbling reminder of the magnificent hearts of children:

skip to main | skip to sidebar

Look See Saw

Showcasing the best the web can offer in a wide range of creative mediums, including art, crafts, handmade products, music, writing, dance, and more.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Help Shane Bernier set his world record!

“Seven year old Shane Bernier is a brave cancer patient at CHEO and he is asking people to send him a card for his birthday on May 30th. Shane wants to set a world record for the most number of cards received!”

This text was taken from the website, http://shanebernier.ca/

The address is:

Shane Bernier
Box 484
Lancaster Ontario
CANADA
K0C 1N0

I’ve made two so far and I thought artists might enjoy sending along their own one of a kind cards for this special little boy!

Posted by Jessica Torrant at 11:11 AM 1 comments

The last few days I have been preoccupied with another CNN headline, reporting the number of women abused/domestic violence victims in Mexico.

I wanted to do more research to cross-reference the media headline numbers, but knew it didn’t matter for two primary reasons:

1.  Even one domestic violence victim is one too many; and

2.  There is no way to account for the real number.

When did domestic violence begin?

Was it present from the union of man and woman or woman and woman or man and man?

Is it no more than yet another reflection in the inherent violent world we humans have adopted?

Is it necessary to get to the origin to eradicate the potential for its occurrence?

Is there anyway to start when humans are no more than a thought and change the consciousness so abuse or harm to others could never become either an abstract or concrete imagining?

Being aware, donating to groups with their primary aim to help domestic violence victims, whether they are men, women or children, is paramount.  I still wonder though if there is a way to get to the root and rip it out so it can never grow.

I was planning to put up “real” statistics when I realized I can’t possibly find the “real” numbers as victims of domestic violence suffer in silence.

TODAY IS COMIC RELIEF DAY

AGAIN, TO ANYONE WHO MAY BE OFFENDED BY PROFANITY

DO NOT CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW

TO ANYONE THAT CAN’T LAUGH AT THEMSELVES, THE WORLD AND YOUR OWN EGO

DO NOT CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW

ANYONE READY FOR A MOMENT OF LAUGHTER CLICK—I WILL SAY, THERE ARE MOMENTS IN THE SPIEL THAT MAKE ME NOT WANT TO POST THE LINK…….BUT HERE’S TO A FREE FORUM………………
CLICK BELOW

George Carlin on God

THIS IS NOT FOR THE LIGHT HEARTED.

IF YOU OBJECT TO PROFANITY OR LAUGHING AT YOURSELF

DO NOT

DO NOT

CLICK THE LINK BELOW WHICH LEADS YOU TO GEORGE CARLIN AND HIS THEORY ON WHY WE ARE HERE

George Carlin on existence

This is a must see:

JibJab: What They Call the News

ok, America didn’t vote for him:  wait, that’s not quite right, is it? He must have gotten some votes.

CNN reports:

‘American Idol’ eliminates one more

POSTED: 8:05 a.m. EDT, March 29, 2007

var clickExpire = “04/28/2007″;

NEW YORK (AP) — It’s over for Chris Sligh.

Sligh, the curly-haired jokester who once claimed he was “bringing chubby back,” said goodbye to “American Idol” on Wednesday, becoming the latest singer bounced in viewer voting.

The sacking of Sligh, 28, who hails from Greenville, South Carolina, winnowed the number of “Idol” wannabes to nine. The winner will be chosen in May.

“I think it’s bye-bye, curly,” predicted Simon Cowell, before the results were announced.

Cowell said on Tuesday’s program that Sligh’s rendition of the Police classic “Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic” was a “mess.”

Haley Scarnato and Phil Stacey had the next-lowest vote tallies in the phone balloting, which drew more than 30 million calls and text messages.

Stacey, 29, of Jacksonville, Florida, managed to get on Cowell’s good side after his solid cover of “Every Breath You Take.”

“This may surprise you, Phil, but I actually thought that was very good,” Cowell said Tuesday.

The acerbic judge was not as nice to Scarnato, deriding the 24-year-old Texas girl’s take on “True Colors” as safe and forgettable.

(Question: Will Sanjaya Malakar, who is undoubtedly a national sensation, stick around until the finale? Could happen, as long as the “Idol” oddball keeps stoking watercooler discussion.)

Wednesday’s elimination show also featured a get-up-and-dance performance by Gwen Stefani and rapper Akon, who performed Stefani’s hit single “The Sweet Escape.”

Update: someone posted below, Chris, who? And I took it seriously and then realized it was witty………

Anyway, without further ado,

“American Idol: uticaod.com readers agree with America – goodbye Chris Sligh

March 29, 2007

“American Idol” hopeful Chris Slight was at the bottom of America’s list Wednesday night — and at the bottom of uticaOD.com’s poll.

Sligh, the curly-haired jokester who once claimed he was “bringing chubby back,” said goodbye to “American Idol” Wednesday, becoming the latest singer bounced in viewer voting.

In the uticaOD.com poll, Sligh tied for last with Gina Glocksen, Chris Richardson and Phil Stacey with 1.8 percent of the votes; 167 were cast.

The favorite “Idol” singer this week is Melinda Doolittle with 28.7 percent of the vote followed by Jordin Sparks with 22.8 percent.

Here’s how this week’s uticaOD.com poll turned out:

1. Melinda Doolittle: 28.7 percent.

2. Jordin Sparks: 22.8 percent.

3. Blake Lewis: 21 percent.

4. Sanjaya Malakar: 12.6 percent.

5. Lakisha Jones: 5.4 percent

6. Haley Scarnato: 2. 4 percent.

7. Gina Glocksen: 1.8 percent.

8. Chris Richardson: 1.8 percent.

9. Phi Stacey: 1.8 percent.

10. Chris Sligh; 1.8 percent.”

How many of you out there would easily take in babies while their biological moms worked out or sought help with what they need?

What is the answer?

Where can these aggrieved moms go to now, it’s ok, we’ll watch the babies, remember when a village was considered the parents?

See: CNN: Who Dumped Three Newborns Eleven Months Apart?

I applaud and welcome the many spiritual teachers, motivators that walk around us. What happens though when theory is simply not enough?

Many of us understand the power of language, that if we say “I can”, rather, than “I might”, we carry greater power into the universe, we ask for positive strength to be returned.

Suppose, though, that there are moments or days when changing our language does not change our lives?

When despite what we might say, there are still people starving, there are people abused and attacked, there is such a well of despair, that merely changing language will not change lives?

Is it reasonable that in moments like that, lives like that, people clammor and demand a formula? A tried and true, no returns necessary formula, a simple number: 1-800-fix-us-now………….a solution that works immediately?

We for the most part are spiritual seekers. We seek our own truth, we seek the universal truth, we escape in moments, take a back seat in meetings, and look around, wondering what became of the collective consciousness or the wisdom of the Universe.

Reading Eat, Love & Pray by Elisabeth Gilbert we came across a word at page 203: “Antevasin”.

Ms. Gilbert describes it as follows:

“So I saw it during my last week at the Ashram, I was reading through an old text about Yoga, when I found a description of ancient spiritual seekers. A Sanskrit word appeared in the paragrpah: ANTEVASIN. It means, ‘one who lives at the border.’ In ancient times this was a literal description. It indicated a person who had left the bustling center of worldly life to go live at the edge of the forest where the spiritual masters dwelled. The antevasin was not of the villagers anymore-not a householder with a conventional life. But neither was he yet a transcendent-not one of those sages who live deep in the unexplored woods, fully realized. The antevasin was an in-betweener. he was a border-dweller. He lived in sight of both worlds, but he looked toward the unknown. And he was a scholar.”

I never knew this word before I read it in Ms. Gilbert’s book.

Dictionary.com has no results for antevasin, but superflat.typepad.com does; yet, about.com doesn’t and most of the other top search engines keep coming back to Ms. Gilbert’s book.

So, suppose instead of focusing on the word itself, Antevasin, we instead go back to what it is? Spiritual Seeking.

In seeking spiritualy, there are those things that fit, those that don’t, some which may fit later and those that grow too small, but the commonality, is the persistant truth.

Today I came across some new search results on the Mayan Prophecies, the end of the world as we know it as of 12-21-12; the reversal of 1 and 2, the combination, 3, 3 and 3. The Law of Time website sheds yet more viewpoints on collective consciousness. I am perplexed again and again, as to how heralded universal truths, the Law of Attraction, doctrines of religion and indisputable points of Science seem to fold in over one another, and repeat like mantras.

So for today, I am satisfied with this word: antevasin. Simply, spiritual seeking needs no explanation does it? Yet, it’s nice to have company on the journey.

Namaste.

We’ve been surfing the net for updates on the state of the people in Gambia who have decided to proceed with the “dream cure”.

Funny enough, the news has dropped off since March 17 and 18 of this year.

We will keep looking, but if anyone has some updates, please feel free to post in response.

We are a non-judgmental site, but beware, by that, we don’t mean we welcome posts of those out to be in a bad mood, or those who haven’t walked an inch in another’s shoes.

Gambia:

ImediNews

Freedom Newspaper

United News

Talking with some fellow bloggers, it became apparent that many of us wonder as to the “health” aspects of blogging, surfing, posting, tagging…….you name it.

Here is a simple solution:

Take an electronic emission break.

Read a book, take a walk, make a meal, play cards with the kids, do a puzzle, stare at the buzzards on your roof…do whatever does not require electronic emission and consequent intake.

Diamonds Move From Blood to Sweat and Tears

Candace Feit for The New York Times

“Long after the civil war, Sierra Leone diamond miners remain impoverished.”

Today’s New York Times shows us a picture of Diamond Miners. The photograph above gives a good enough depiction at what is presumed to be backbreaking work.

The irony is what does that backbreaking work cost those fellow human beings, and what profit does it give to others of us?

Where is the scale of morality?

Is it completely divorced from the realm of economics?

Within the article written by Lydia Polgreen is a photograph of two hands, a small piece of paper between the hands, and a dot within the hands upon the paper. The sheer smallness of the gem within the hardworking hands, made us stop and wonder how something so small could gain more on the market, than the larger hands portraying its alleged worth. 

“An industrial grade gem, above, can bring $1 or so for days of work.”

“I don’t have choice,” Mr. Kamanda said, standing calf-deep in brown muddy water here at the Bondobush mine, where he works every day. “This is my only hope, really.”

How many of you earn more than a dollar a day?

The riddle of arrival.

Who are we now, at anytime, and why?

There are those that would argue the why is unnecessary. We are here and from here we go on to the next moment, the next “here”.

Where did I read recently that it is acceptable to use the term “woman” in the news, in scholarly articles, in politics, but often, it is not accepatable to use “female”?  Now I have no statistics to know the average of occurrence, haven’t thought about that a lot in detail, but found the observation thought provoking.

Who are today’s “girls”? Who were yesterday’s girls?

There is no division, today’s girls will become yesterday’s girls and tomorrow’s women. We can talk of being in the moment, but moments shift, and our role in those moments shifts also. It can be seismic movement, but happens to the unattendant observer, including the observer of self, in such a seemingly slow manner, that it is suprising to find yourself or a loved one or a neighbor as this different “person”.

There is much discussion on what girls must deal with and learn, the vulnerability to “strangers”. Yet, we place them approvingly in environments day after day that don’t always teach them to be strong, but teaches them to adapt, to deal, to quiet their passions. I’m not saying this doesn’t happen with boys, but for a variety of reasons, that would be a separate topic. (And for a variety of reasons, it can be easily argued that it should be within the same topic).

I posted earlier that I recently picked up a book, Reviving Ophelia, Saving the Selves of Adolsecent Girls, by Mary Pipher, Ph. D.

Earlier this evening I wrote:

I am on page 28, and the book has resonated at this point.

In reading this book, I hope to understand the next generations of decision-makers. The book suprises me though, it may yet teach me how I got to where I am, in the exploration of adolescence.

There is no them and us, parents v. children, save v. the unsaved, Christian v. Muslim, Israeli v. Pakistinian…….there are “us”, the collective of human beings, the “earthlings”, whatever divisions we have made from there, we have made, the tribulations it has led us through are of our own making.

With life and committments intervening, there has now been a few quiet moments and I am at page 49. How much I have learned and thought of in that space of 21 pages. I am a fast reader, there is nothing I love more than ripping through books. I must read this book slowly as it not only highlights what is going on with the girls of the 1990s, the girls of today, but the woman of today who were girls yesterday.

I want to write a disclaimer, hey wait, I’m only on page 49! I can’t guarantee this book is worth the read. But you know what? That’s ludicrous. The book was worth the read at the word go.

I’m sure I’ll have more to say on this subject as the pages go on; however, for the moment, there is one singular thought:

What are we doing?

Go to, run to, race to, click to:

Official website of Mary Pipher, Ph.D.: check out excerpt on “Reviving Ophelia, Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls”.

What is God?

Who is God?

Is there God?

I grew up in the dogma of religion: yes, a Roman Catholic.

So what that I was the child of divorce?

Oh, my parents could no longer indulge in Communion? But they could put money in the basket?

Ok, I get it (not).

It doesn’t matter.

The evolution of the search for the meaning of God, sprituality, the Light, reminds me of again, yes, thank you NPR, of brain plasiticity.

Many of us come across the stories of the monks that have achieved a different level of brain mechanism than us mere humans, they elevate, in my mind, (my mind only), on a stratosphere that transcends even what I can digest in the written word.

I watched the sky as I drove from work this evening, and I’ll be darned if the sky and his (her) angels were not laughing at or with me, as they read my mind contemplating the levels of meditation and spirtual ascension.

They seemed to laugh at me.

What, you thought we would give you a ladder to climb?

Perhaps a trampoline?

Go back inside of yourself, they seemed to say, you must have a better idea of how to reach us.

So there I am reflecting on neurology and science and God, not understanding half of what I hear, but understanding that there is a commonality, an overlapping, there is a connection, think and it will be done, believe and it is yours.

Good night folks.

What does it mean to say:  “I matter?”

Does it convey ego?

Selfishness?

Misconception?

Saying “I matter” can be ever so simple.  It can convey only this:

I matter.

If I matter to me

There is a chance

That when you matter to me

We can do great things together.

Conversely, saying:  “I don’t matter”

means

i don’t matter to me

and if

i don’t matter to me

then nothing can matter to me

and if i give you anything

it is less

than me

less than you

so

what is it

exactly

you would ask

of me

when

even

i

don’t

matter to me?

On the flip side, I think the answer at this stage of life is quite easy:

I matter.  And in so recognizing that, there is more I can do for you.

Yesterday, we found a blog here on our beloved wordpress.com.

It was an appeal from a parent trying to raise funds for a walk she is participating in for the The Autism Society of Delaware.

The mother’s blog is called Bryelee’s Garden

I have pasted and copied in her post regarding the walk she will be participating in. Apparently, she is striving to raise $500 for the Autism Society of Delaware.

We don’t have any personal knowledge as to the family or as to the Autism Society of Delaware. A dear fellow blogger provided another resource for those needing resources on Autism or those looking to somehow contribute: Cure Autism Now

About Cure Autism Now

Cure Autism Now (CAN) is an organization of parents, clinicians and leading scientists committed to accelerating the pace of biomedical research in autism through raising money for research projects, education and outreach. Founded by parents of children with autism in 1995, the organization has grown from a kitchen-table effort to the largest provider of support for autism research and resources in the country. The organization’s primary focus is to fund essential research through a variety of programs designed to encourage innovative approaches toward identifying the causes, prevention, treatment and a cure for autism and related disorders.

Since its founding, Cure Autism Now has committed nearly $39 million in research, the establishment and ongoing support of the Autism Genetic Resource Exchange (AGRE), and numerous outreach and awareness activities aimed at families, physicians, governmental officials and the general public.

Mission and Goals
Cure Autism Now believes that, with enough determination, money and manpower, science can be hurried so that answers are found sooner rather than later.
Cure Autism Now Accomplishments
CAN has helped triple the number of scientists working in the field of autism, established the world’s first collaborative gene bank for autism, motivated passage of the Children’s Health Act of 2000, … [more]

Bryelee’s Garden
The walk is scheduled for April 28th and so far I am no where near my goal. If you would like to help to support me you can donate right through the site. The money goes directly to the Autism Society of Delaware. Did you know in 1995 the prevalence of autism was was 1 in every 2,500 births? Today it is 1 in 150. I got that info from the autism society of Delawares website. Every time I hear that I find it shocking. Chances are you know someone who is in the autism spectrum. You may not realize it but you do. Its that quirky guy from school. That weird little girl who keeps flapping her hands.

I never thought I would have a child with a disability, who does? But shortly after child # 2 birth we knew something was wrong. I think every family with an autistic child has a need, wither it be financially from paying for school, therapies, or it may be like me needing a stroller for a special needs child. But we all have our specific needs for our loved one.

The thing I want for people who know nothing to very little about autism is autism is not retardation. Many people are very surprised to hear autistic people are VERY intelligent. Autism is a neurological disorder that messes with ones social and communication skills.

Please consider sponsoring me at the Walk the High Road for Autism. I will be walking for Cate.

Cate’s Mom will be supplying a bit more information on her blog later today. Who knows, if enough people are steered to her blog, perhaps she can even surpass her goal.

First Giving

More on the Autism Society of Delaware’s fundraising efforts for April

Namaste.

“Eat, Pray, Love”……………………a lovely let it all hang out spiritual journey of one woman.

Within 2.5 pages, I was hooked. Ironic that I found the book while food shopping after working, more ironic that on my way to the store, I heard on NPR that Anne Lamott has a new book out and I almost made myself purposely take the wrong turn straight to Barnes & Noble to buy the book right away.

Alas, I knew something that good was worth waiting for and my family would probably prefer food over a book. (Hard to believe isn’t it? I try to tell them again and again, words are food, you must only just imagine…….by that point, they have walked out of the room and I’m not even left with a goldfish listening as alas, our last goldfish also grew tired of my soapbox and left for better waters………….).

So I did the right thing, the expected thing and headed to the foodstore…………of course I went to the foodstore that has quite a good book section, and there I found, high up on a shelf, almost daring me to see it, the book: “Eat, Pray. Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert……………….and an endorsement on the front by “Anne Lamott”. See, the Universe was working with me, it too knows that words are food.

This book is not for the faint of heart…

It is not for those that have their feet dug in to a particular religious stomping ground.

It’s a search for only one person’s truth, but I dare you to not find a bit of your own along the way.

Three Cheers for this find! Look below, I’ve pasted in some of the highlights…..

Do you remember the story of the doctor prohibited from practicing medicine because he dared to suggest doctors should “scrub” up prior to surgery?

Well, I’m not sure how all of this comes around.

Surely, I don’t want an individual man in Gambia telling HIV patients they must stop proven medicines that prolong life, to take a herbal/spice concontion his ancestors gave him in a dream……but suppose……….he was right?

We already know what would happen if he is wrong, our media and society specialize in the bad news, I wonder though, what would happen if he were right?

Do any of us really know?

Artifical nails & health care

Are you willing to say no? It doesn’t work?

More on Miracles

BY NO MEANS DO WE ADVOCATE ABANDONING TRADITIONAL MEDICINE, WE SIMPLY DO NOT BELIEVE, ANY ONE PERSON YET HAS THE ONLY ANSWER.

Surface Earth, copyright 2007

It is a time before now

A time well past

in this half-finished life

purgatory these last few decades

holding me silently raging

against what could have been

standing the measure of time

against the choices not made

cast as decision

Putting on the familar face

losing my breath to fit the mask

at which point am I more real?

Am I too old now

to even ask?

or too young

so long as there is even one breath

left

to ignore the pain

of pasting upon my face

knowingly curving without thought

the contours of my cheeks

to admit the smile

against the cast of my eyes

The Park Bench

Copyright 2007

Surface Earth, all rights reserved

They are cluttered on the benches beneath the trees. Again, they have left open the benches in the sun. I wonder, who gave them this right? I asked my brother the other day, “is it legal?”

He sighed, a great stirring as he lifted the air from his chest and back inward again. “Is t legal?” He closed his eyes, ruefully shaking his head. His little sister, always the same.

“Gwen, does it matter whether it is legal? Have you not heard of Darwin’s Law?”

Darwin? I have heard that word. I can’t remember. My mother, perhaps? My father? Before they were taken? My brother knew I could not recall.

“In the time before, before the laws were made, there was a test.” He stretched himself, “the birds of flight sailed above and through the skies where no one else could touch. Upon reaching ground, the birds of flight were honored for their extraordinary power, revered.” He scratched at his back, looking toward the sky.

I know this story, I can remember from the time I was young, my mother sang me a song of times before. I knew my brother would take his time, in speaking, and now as I waited he gathered his thoughts. I glanced to the benches below, all the ones beneath the trees still full. The sun was at high noon, the wood would bake beneath one’s feet.

I watched three women, in black, hobble past the sun covered benches. One craned her head, lifting her eyes from beneath her brow bone. I am sure that once she had eyebrows. I could see slight tufts where perhaps something else used to grow. The other linked her arm, “never mind,” I heard carried into the wind. I watched their backs, stooped under the weight of black, worn almost shiny by age.

“Oh no!” I cried. My bother startled.

“What is it Gwen?” His eyes opened, and he stopped mid-flight on the verge of continuing his lesson.

“Nothing brother. I saw a young boy, on a skateboard. I feared he would overtake and knock down the women.”

My brother peered closer at me. “Gwen, but that is what I am telling you. If that young boy had not chosen to steer around, he would have overtaken the women, ran them down and perhaps continued. His bones are strong, not tried by age, not worn.”

I sat mystified. Is that all? All he would say? I asked whether there was a law regarding the benches. I looked at them again but it was the same. People atop the benches in the shade, birds on the ground, hopping from the burning asphalt, playing tricks for crumbs. I shook my head, taking in the park.

On CNN today, a story features that the President of Gambia had a dream in which his ancestors gave him the cure for Aids.

This is not funny business, it appears real that people are believing that the herbal conconction works.

Apparently at this stage, there is not any medical documentation to confirm whether this dream induced “cure” may work, just imagine for a moment if it did………

Faith has many faces, I prefer not to discount the yet unproven. With that said, there is a fear that belief in this new “cure” may cause people to have false hope.

What would occur if faith alone, and not just the concoction worked to help cure all of the people inflicted with this dreadful disease? I can understand that there will be much in the media with a negative view, and quite frankly, it is understandable, because if the “cure” doesn’t work, people will become more and more ill.

The CNN article of March 17, 2007 is posted below.  Following the article are several different resources, with Technorati Search listing the most returns on blogs currently discussing this subject from a variety of viewpoints.

CNN presents the following:

By Jeff Koinange
CNN

BANJUL, Gambia (CNN) — At the only hospital in the capital of this tiny West African nation, a 3-year-old AIDS patient named Suleiman receives his daily dose of medication — a murky brown concoction of seven herbs and spices served out of a bottle that once contained pancake syrup.

The boy is told a spoonful a day will make him better. His mother, Fatuma, takes the same concoction, as do several dozen other AIDS and HIV patients here. Adults take two spoonfuls.

“It’s amazing,” Fatuma says. “Two weeks ago, I was very ill, weak and couldn’t eat without vomiting.”

This has become the treatment for HIV/AIDS patients here since early January, when Gambian President Yahya Jammeh announced he had discovered a cure for the disease that has wreaked havoc across Africa. He made that announcement in front of a group of foreign diplomats, telling them the treatment was revealed to him by his ancestors in a dream.

His concoction has stirred controversy and anger among health officials who say the president’s claims will bring false hope to the nation’s more than 20,000 HIV/AIDS patients. They are also afraid that it could cause patients to stop taking the anti-retroviral drugs that have been proven to prolong life and improve quality of living.

One critic was Fadzai Gwaradzimba, the U.N. envoy to Gambia. She was abruptly kicked out of the country after saying on February 9 that patients should continue their normal treatment and that Jammeh’s concoction be “assessed by an international team of experts.”

“The U.N. system encourages all patients currently receiving anti-retroviral treatment to continue to comply with their recommended treatment regimens while the efficacy of the new treatment is being assessed,” she said. (Read full statement)

The U.N. Development Program stands by the envoy’s remarks. The World Health Organization has also been critical of Jammeh’s treatment.

No formal medical training

Jammeh, 41, is a former army colonel who has no formal medical training. He wears white robes and carries a copy of the Quran with him in this mostly Muslim nation.

His degree is a high school diploma. But he claims his family has a history of healing people through traditional African medicine.

At the hospital in the capital, patients claim the president’s concoction is making a difference to them.

Ousman Sow, 54, said he’s been HIV-positive since 1996 and had been taking anti-retrovirals for the past fours years until he volunteered for this program.

Four weeks later, he said he’s gained 30 pounds and feels like a new person.

“I am cured at this moment,” he said.

Asked if he had any HIV symptoms, he responded, “No, I don’t. As I stand before you I can honestly tell you I have ceased to have any HIV symptoms.”

Patient after patient gave similar statements to CNN. But it was difficult to verify the authenticity of their testimony. The government claims to have scientific evidence, but it did not provide any to CNN.

Jammeh refused to speak to CNN for this report.

CNN also sought medical reports of the HIV/AIDS patients to see whether they are indeed on the mend. The material was not provided. The government would also not release the concoction to CNN for testing.

Gambian Health Minister Tamsim Mbowe, a trained physician with multiple medical degrees, defended the so-called herbal cure.

“I can swear, 100 percent, that this herbal medication His Excellency is using is working. It has the potency to treat and cure patients infected with the HIV-virus,” he told CNN.

What does he have to say to skeptics?

“I will tell them, as a Western medical trained doctor with 13 years experience meeting different professors, meeting different colleagues of mine, I’ve seen His Excellency, my leader, coming up with herbal medications that are able to treat and cure patients with HIV-virus, which have been proven within all medical and laboratory parameters.”

Health officials worldwide remain doubtful of these claims. Experts also say it’s in places like Gambia that the poor and desperate will latch onto anything resembling hope.

“For a country’s leader to come up with such an outlandish conclusion is not only irresponsible, but also very dangerous, and he should be reprimanded and stopped from proclaiming such nonsense,” said Professor Jerry Coovadia of the University of Kwa Zulu Natal in South Africa.

See CNN article

Anderson Cooper Blog

UNAIDS, WHO on Gambia’s “cure”: demanding “evidence-based” proof

Scoop Indepent News

EarthTimes.Org

Technorati Search: Gambia & the alleged cure for Aids: listing of blogs with differing viewpoints

Do you know what truth is?

Sure, it is a compilation of facts.

Do you know what facts are?

Sure it’s what’s black and white.

What’s black?

Um, that which is darkest.

What’s white?

That which is most white, without being translucent.

So,

facts are that which are darkest and not most translucent, right?

At which point do we divorce perception and its effects from what we regard as facts?

Let me give you a very basic, perhaps insulting example:

How do we live in a world, where anyone, government included, has an excuse to kill others, and we argue over whether it is defined as genocide or a humantiarian crisis?

Have you ever had moments, days, weeks, months, years where you find yourself in spiritual depletion?

It doesn’t matter to me what you believe in, well, as long as it’s not evil, but you find yourself with a lack of faith in God, the Universe, the Laws of Attraction, basically, in yourself.

Sometimes I wonder whether the quest for different religions or different Universal knowledge is really just a search for a quick fix. If it were though, so much truth would not resonate.

I equate spiritual depletion with a physical depletion. Anger or frustration or sadness is coursing through you, shutting down receptors to joy or to experiencing gratitude in the moment.

Then the next stage becomes, if I am so spiritually developed or enlightened, why did I succumb to this emotion?

It’s not easy always recognizing the signs, the build up of small frustrations throughout the day that bring us to a dark place of depletion. The goal is to recognize when your body is telling you something doesn’t feel good. For instance, I am at my best when I am around children in a loving manner: tuning in, smiling, joking, imagining, playing, hugging. I have no doubts as to whether what I am doing is right or if I want to be anywhere else in the world.

Fast forward: I am on the phone with an adversary. The conversation is not developing as I had anticipated. I hear the excuses mounting and need to count to ten to not shout, “Get to the point. Give me the bottom line so we can end this conversation.” I can hear in his tone and the type of words he is using that he is retreating from prior representations and I have no patience to wait out the excuses. My body begins to tighten, my brain begins to darken, in other words, I am not at my best.

I used to fight and rail against these moments of depletion, read more, talk more, jump around more, but I found a simple panacea, a bridge: silence.

Silence allows me not to beat myself up for slipping in my spiritual goals, it allows me to replenish, and another large bonus, it saves the ones around me from having to deal with my depletion.

Imagine for a moment, that you live in a world governed by different standards. Come on, it will only take a few seconds….

You are working, scattering through emails shooting at you, lines holding, documents piled for review, diary dates passing by your eyes.

Phone rings. It is someone near and dear who is meant to be within the safe harbor of your existence.

You answer, “hello?”.

“Oh, hi, who’s this?”

Who’s this? What? Did I not just pick up the phone when the other person dialed?

“It’s me.”

“Where are you?”

“Where am I? You called me. At the office.”

Now, might sound like someone, me, is without patience, a bit curt, less than the oh wise breathing one. And that would be correct. But everything in context.

The conversation ensues and after ten minutes without a pause, I hear a pause, “what’s wrong with you?”.

Wrong?

Wrong?

Well nothing truly, it’s just that you have been speaking to me for ten minutes straight without even asking if it’s a good time and the thrust of the conversation is to share your pain.

Suppose I was in a painful moment? Suppose I simply had not shared? Do I need to air my woes, pains, hurts and trials to be afforded the courtesy of not filling my basket with yours?

Now this is stream of consciousness and “pretend”; yet, we all have moments like this. When our plate is so full, there is no space to absorb another’s worries and pains, especially if it is about the weather, a sneeze or a bad meal at a restaurant.

What do you do? Preach to them, tell them, you think you got it bad?

Chances are they aren’t going to hear you and maybe they do have it bad or worse, after all, who would want to spend their time complaining most of the day?

The creator of this new blog has generously posted two of our pieces….

we like her photo of the potted plant and decided to give you a brief glimpse of her site….to learn more, you will have to go to the source…

I’m NOT a Potted Plant!

March 12th, 2007 by 100 Blogging Babes From SurfaceEarth:

“I’m not a potted plant.”

I can absorb, listen, do my “charitable” deed and remain impassive during the onslaught. But whoever said, I had to be a potted plant?

To find out more about blogging babes and if you too are a blogging babe, check out Ronnie’s newest blog!

100BloggingBabes

I find articles pitting Science against God amusing.

Perhaps because I am simple minded.

Perhaps because I figure, Science doesn’t know what is out there so why should the mere word “Science” obliterate God?

Suppose in the end there is no difference?

For more fascinating thoughts, albeit a bit more complex,

See the New York Times Sunday Magazine

There is much that has been written about the Law of Attraction. I don’t consider myself to be a scholarly authority on this matter, but I do hold certain truths to be self evident.

The Law of Attraction counsels that if you use your emotional guidance system, you will bring yourself to positive forces and thoughts. Whether it be the attraction of perfect health, financial prosperity and joy, the choice is ultimately yours.

For many years I became bogged down in the notion of judgment. What right do we have to judge? What would occur, moral anarchy, if we did not judge? I could not see beyond this dilemma.

Having spent time reading various sources on the Law of Attraction, and yes, that includes The Secret, Conversations with God, A Course in Miracles, The Law of Attraction, The Basic Teachings of Abraham, The Way of the Warrior, The Alchemist, The Pilgrimage, Toltec Traditions, various writings of the Dalai Lama, The Celestine Prophecy, The Teachings of Don Juan, A Yaqui Way of Knowledge, to most of the books from the Kabbalah Centre to The Interior Castle of St. Teresa of Avila, and on and on….I have come to a tentative conclusion…

The open question as to the place of judgment can and should be removed from the realm of moral analysis and moved into the the thought of the Law of Attraction.

The Law of Attraction teaches us, from a simple level, that what we think pulls energy from the Universe and comes back to us. The question becomes, do we then have to monitor our thoughts?

Not really. The basic idea is that we pay attention to an “emotional guidance system”, a gut instinct, a physical feeling that tells us, hey this feels good or this doesn’t feel good. If we can learn to recognize and not supress these physical manifestations, we can learn to manipulate our thoughts to what is positive.

Taking a basic example, I am watching CNN, health news comes up, there are new findings on what back pain may be caused by. As I watch it, I begin to tighten my body, feeling the ache and wondering, is it a heart problem? Could it be something worse than a heart problem? In that moment, I am forgetting, I raked the leaves, carried a toddler for hours, scrubbed the floors, carried an oversized briefcase up and down stairs, all I am thinking of is – gasp – I have back pain!

My mind begins to wonder, could it be something horrible? I flip stations and my brain picks up on each station that has more dismal news. I talk to friends, go to work, go to the store and I hear more and more similar stories. It must be true, I must have something to be very, very afraid of.

Now, here’s my favorite: “Rewind”.

None of the above with slight exceptions happens. I stand in my kitchen, I flick on CNN, see the talking head begin and change the channel.

The Law of Attraction tells us this simply, although I haven’t read it quite that way yet, but it tells us to: “Change the Channel”.

So where does judgment fit into this?

If you are like me and are striving not to judge others you are pushing against a natural tendency and focus to do precisely that: to judge.

Judge the ones who judge, judge not judging, in other words, you are swimming in a great morass of judgment.

Now suppose you took yourself out of that quandary.

Suppose, you sit down at a birthday party, a lurking adult on the fringe of childhood play, serving as a waiting ride home and a woman sits down next to you. You already had your moment planned, the moment in which you were waiting to escort your charges back home and not get in the way or embarrass them as you wait. You have a bag with a water bottle, gum and at least three different books. You sit down quietly and savor the moment you are about to call yours and crack open to page 209 of your 263 page book, knowing you are nearing the end and wishing there wasn’t one. You look up at a sound and find another mother nearby. You smile. Too late you realize that she has no intention of reading the book in her hand. You should have seen it by the way she sat next to you and placed her bag on top of the book, not out of the way of the book, but on top of the book.

You suck it up but your gut is rolling, you really just want to read.

The woman begins to talk, she is lovely, a nice soul, but the conversation never ends despite numerous attempts to casually open your book and hold it in front of your face.

She begins to speak about non-smokers, parents who don’t agree with her reward system for good grades, and it goes on and on.

You smile. A lightbulb goes off, huh, I don’t have to agree with everything she says just to make her feel better. I don’t have to offer up my own tales of woe just to be a good comrade. I can simply smile and redirect her to the children climbing rock walls.

In the past, I would have fluctuated, ah, what a nice lady, I should agree with her or at least murmer and nod my head. What a bad, bad person I would be to do otherwise. Then I think, but I have no interest in this type of conversation, I don’t want to bash the rest of the community, I don’t necessarily agree with them, but I simply have no interest in such topics.

I have no interest in such topics.

Simple.

I don’t need to go through the scales of morality but can fixate instead on what is feeling right inside of me and move away from what feels wrong. And in the process, I don’t have to sit in the seat of judgment and don’t have to go through a dissertation as to whether I am being charitable or uncharitable, I can just move toward what feels good or away from what feels wrong.

And that is how easy it can be at times to move toward what feels right and attract an abundance of what feels right all of the time. What feels right to me is not to judge. I don’t need to know why, I just know it is true. In judging, I bring negative energy to myself and the recipient of my judgment and it becomes a never ending relentless cycle.

I would rather simply enjoy breathing.

Many of us may have spent a lifetime

putting out the embers of a fire

grounding a foot

against a lick of red

on a dusty brick

taking a stick

pushing it

fanning its pulp

extinguishing the air

surrounding the flame

A lifetime

or what it seems

at the moment

while time still stands ahead

A lifetime to obliterate the flames

Why then

is it such a suprise

that it may take

more than a nanosecond

to rekindle the fire?

Crouching on bended knee

an elbow resting in the dirt

hands scarred

having circled dug up rocks

pieces of long standing trees

piled

waiting for breath

slowly to exhale

and fan the flame

Curious and more curious.

Gingrich was not a hypocrite. Yes, he now states he had an extramarital affair but really, he drew the line when pursuing Clinton…he went after him due to an alleged felony, perjury and obstruction of justice, not because of the sensationalist news regarding Ms. Lewinsky.

Check out some interesting articles on this fascinating non-hypocritical line drawing:

Today’s news

Focus on the Family

“Do as I Say, Not as I Do”

Huffington Post

Really?

Are we here again?

First scrotum, and now vagina?

Ok, let me go check on-line, popular, dictionary or encyclopedias, to see if they are horrible, or in fact, medical, scientific words….because I am pretty angry that an author and now three young teens pay the price for the rest of us exercising civil liberties….

Yup, wikipedia has got it

and wikipedia has it again

Ooops, even Webster’s has it?

“I’m not a potted plant.”

I can absorb, listen, do my “charitable” deed and remain impassive during the onslaught. But whoever said, I had to be a potted plant?

I raise questions, queries, perhaps bordering onto commentary at times, as to spiritual or save me, religious beliefs. The idea is to provoke discussion, to get thinking about the big picture that is so far beyond us most times that we can only see our feet. And yes, yes, life deals us blows that knock us over and we then become grateful for being able to see our feet, let alone the big picture.

Forgive me, I digress.

Why must certain religious persuasions be forced upon others?

Truly, I could care less what you believe, although I do draw the line at using your beliefs to manipulate or harm in any way others.

So why should anyone care if beliefs are in conflict as long as that very basic humanitarian goal is met?

I AM NOT A POTTED PLANT.

I will not just sit and take garbage that you have to believe only one way or the other. If I wake up tomorrow and decide I am one of the starpeople, so be it.

____

Editor’s Note: These links from the author will take you to some other people who have made it clear that they too are not potted plants:

Q&A WITH CHRISTOPHER LYDON

Reference to Brendan Sullivan Iran-Contra trial comment

Let’s suppose, the tears are real. What time period must pass, before the rest of the world accepts it, whether they believe in the Virgin Mary or not? Let me be frank, disclaimer, (do you hear the exclamation points?), we believe in the Virgin Mary, I’m not sure what her name is or if she was/is a Virgin, but I believe it does not matter, I believe, that her messages of kindness and humanity matter.

So, what now, if fast forward, months later, it cannot be disproved that there were actual tears, there in the store in Texas? The owners were not frauds, had no interst in being shot at or sued or disenfranchised, but simply stated what they saw to be their truth?

What then?

Does it matter?

Does it effect us?

Does “science” have a different explanation? Is science divorced from divinity?

Is there anything to believe? Does it matter if you do? I truly don’t care what you believe, I applaud simply your right to believe. But take a look, take a look at what I think are probably very good people believing in the goodness of humanity.

See below, not my article, resources are as credited below the title.

Virgin Mary Statue Appears to be Crying

link directly to article

Last Update: Mar 2, 2007 9:48 AM

Posted By: Walker Robinson

Some were calling it a miracle, a statue of the Virgin Mary here in San Antonio appeared to be crying Wednesday, and dozens of believers were stopping by to see it.The statue is at the store A&J Toys and Novelties on Colorado St. on the west side. People were crowding the store Wednesday night to get a peek.

“This is the first time I’ve ever seen anything like that,” one man said.

Water was seen coming from the statue’s eyes.

“I pass by here every day, and it’s just a miracle that it’s happening so close to where we live,” neighbor Delia Ramirez said.

Believers were emotional calling the statue a true blessing from above.

The store’s owner, Amelia Gutierrez, got the statue from Mexico on Sunday, and planned to put it in a raffle. But Wednesday morning, she said tears started pouring out.

“I don’t know if she’s trying to tell us something,” Gutierrez said. “We just have to pray, I guess.”

News 4 WOAI’s Aubrey Mika has been following this story. Click here to watch her report.

If you have questions or comments about this story, or you want to send us a story tip, please email News 4 WOAI’s Aubrey Mika at AubreyMika@woai.com.

Related Story:

Statue Stops Weeping; Faithful Keep Coming

See also:

Today Show

Come on.

Let’s get real.

We don’t get it.

Is there really a monopoly on one man’s thoughts so long ago?

What’s so wrong with the rest of us that we need to live, beholden, to others’ thoughts, of one person’s life?

I am sure at this point you have all seen the news, and at this point, we are all home comfortably, far from the scene of the latest natural disaster.

Yet, look around you, search your heart, even one loss of those close to you, is a universal loss to you.

See this thoughtful blog:

Helping because you can

What is the universal thread to language?

Is it the emotion within the words, the emotive energy?

I sat in a meeting today, many people, and noticed one person incline his head funny. He had answered his cell phone, tucked it under his ear and garbled into the phone: “iminameeting”.

I couldn’t hear him speak, but in the moment I paused to wonder what language he was speaking, I understood his words: I’m in a meeting.

What is the universal key to language? Is it visual? Emotive?
Icelandic langauge

Discovery Channel

One Man’s Blog

Many, many people I know and know of, speak of new stories, day after day, week after week, of those they love or admire or know of, that have gotten the diagnosis.

Time and time again, most of them are “fit”, non-smokers, etc.

It comes time to pause, what are we missing?

WHAT ARE WE MISSING?

Can we not do a survey and connect the dots? Are there no dots to connect? Why every time someone we know has to deal with this are they unsure where to turn? Traditional medicine? Traditional with alternative rememedies? Strictly mindpower/alternative?

There must be a way to create a web to decipher this issue. There has to be, there has to be, there has to be; because we all need to figure this out TODAY.

so? what should we do? judge not judge?

I mean, seriously, if the proponent does not embrace the system advocated, does it make the system worthless?

Or do we need a sliding scale?

Reports tell us following the Oscars – ?tell us? – or suggest, that perhaps Mr. Gore does not practice what he preaches. The difference between Talking the Talk and Walking the Walk.

So, let’s suppose, he doesn’t practice what he preaches, but the net effect is that, as a result of what he preaches, the planet has become 30% more green..now what?

See Points of Thought for Fun & Reflection

Call it what you will 

It doesn’t matter who is right.

What matters is what we can live with, what we believe, what we can do to lessen the burden on ourselves and others.

The fear of the unknown is vast, which is why we remained married to the past, no matter how scary, and why we skip over today to tomorrow in hopes of what might be.

What truly happens when we stand where we are?  When we breath and do not venture anywhere but where we are?  How difficult is it to quiet the active mind and in quieting the active mind, is there a mind left at all?  What is there then?

I always wondered at this statement. Some people don’t, to them it is simple and bravo for that ability, because they operate on a more clear level.

I have only now found what makes sense:

“Well, I’m no scientist, and certainly I don’t have Carl Sagan’s techinical understanding of the universe and our position within it. I simply believe that there’s a very organic, imeasurable consciousness of which we’re a part. I believe that this consciousness is a force so powerful that I’m incapable of comprehending its power through the puny instrument of my human mind. And yet I believe that this consciousness is so unimaginably calibrated in its sensitivity that not one leaf falls in the deepest of forests on the darkest of nights unnoticed.”

The Measure of a Man, by Sidney Poitier

Why would it matter if it were true?

Why would it be any less of a miracle and reason for faith?

Well: we’ve been told our reading of a blog is wrong and that no one claimed that Jesus wasn’t resurrected………if we misread, so be it, we’re looking for other opinions, to be “right” is to sometimes be blind anyway.

Here’s the original post. We’ll go approve the comment pointing out alleged errors. Anyone else with viewpoints?

Trolling through the tag surfers, we found an interesting article that somehow or other we might have missed if not for this blog…

http://thepulp.wordpress.com

A story tag reading: “James Cameron Takes on Jesus”.
The story goes, or might go, well, it does go, that Jesus was not resurrected and for over two decades, there has been knowledge that his tomb was elsewhere…we’re going to keep our eye on this blog and see what the press conference reveals today.

Perhaps we could have worded it better, when we said the story goes, we meant the recent news versions……….so apologies for any miscommunication born of poor word choice, ah, yet another argument for having a “word basket”.

See:

James Cameron takes on Jesus

For other views:

Academic Paper

Words to me have always carried weight. Energy. Tactile.

You can see a book or a post online and without fully reading the words, arrive at a sensation as to whether you want to go on.

The use of words can carry such great responsibility.

Suppose we had to earn the words we use? Suppose there were words that could never be earned?

Imagine a basket in front of you before you speak. You have to walk at least ten steps to reach it, then crouch down and take your hands and sift through the words you think you want or need to use. Then you measure the weight of the words on a scale of consequence. Only upon retracing the ten steps and placing the words on the ground in front of you, will you then begin to speak.

Who can shed more light on this?

Can someone?

I clicked on this post, do not know the full details or veracity, but after seeing a picture of a cell where a 9 yr old boy is allegedly held, I’m asking anyone out there, do you know what this is about?

http://www.latimes.com/search/la-na-immig10feb10_jd7pwonc,0,996949.photo

I have sat here thinking, on and off, about the realm of possibility.

Reading the Way of the Peaceful Warrior

and

The Pilgrimage

* *
I wondered as to whether a limit exists as to human expansion.

One book, The Way of the Peaceful Warrior, heralded as part fiction/part truth; still sets forth the inherent possibilities in not just a life, but in a day and in the moments of each day and each breath.

The Pilgrimage, at least to this reader, is also a story of the warrior, but resonates with more God-like spiritual possibilities.

Is there an end to possibility?

Check out the following article and photos as to the “rare heavenly arc”

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/02/23/MNGD7O9UNL1.DTL

Shocked.

CNN headlines proclaim: Pastor says he is “God”.

Do the numbers, 666, and God, belong in the same sentence? Empircally, yes, both are 3(s), so is the Holy Trinity. Huh, maybe that’s why it’s reported he has three Rolex watches?

The Church of the non-judgmental. Catchy, no?

Yes, until the stories/rumors of suppression of other faiths.

What is true and what isn’t?

Does the Pastor claim to have the same spark of Divine Light arguably within all of us, the essence of God? Is that what he means?

Does anyone know what he truly means vs. what the media is telling us what he means?

Read it, read it, read it, and tell us your thoughts:

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/02/16/miami.preacher/index.html

Veggie Tales teaches us that God would give us the power to love our enemies, love, all encompassing light, yes or no? Are there fine lines? Is there room for judgment? You be the judge.

Listen, we are old enough to not suscribe judgment.

We ask you a simple thing, you have orchestrated the formula of addiction, can you now provide us with the tool to non-addiction?

Those commercials you have been forced to make are no more than inducement for those of us inclined to go out and smoke more, because now we feel worse than ever.

But you know this right? You knew the points of our brain to addict us? Is it too much to hope you know how to truly un-addict us also?

We don’t care how much money you make, if you own a private jet or not, you can’t take it with you anyway, we just ask you to truly help us, stop making us feel bad for what you fed us to begin with- “share the secret”-you must know how to undo us, don’t you? We weren’t born wanting to be outcasts and prematurely dead.

We have begun to list a few charities and other ideas on our Resource page. This is just the beginning as we amass our thoughts and post them on the Resource page.

We are also looking to highlight Charities in need of assistance. Yes, we know there are countless charities, but if you come across this page, and want to drop us a note as to why and how people can help a particular organization, we applaud you in advance for your time and looking forward to helping you along the way.

Here is one recent example of how reading a book began to open our eyes. Three Cups of Tea, One Man’s Mission to Promote Peace…One School at a Time, by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin, published by Penguin.

While in the bookstore lately, took a quick dash around, trying to find a memory of a book – a narrative that had been written by a woman about the culture in one part of Africa, it was meant to talk about the people and their life, not as sensationalized news bites, but to truly use their words, their way. Unfortunately, could not remember either the title or the author and sought help, the woman was very nice, searching for a book for me with no title or author information. As I stood and waited I saw a cardboard stand with a few books in it, Three Cups of Tea. I told the woman thank you and that I thought she had led me to something important to read and I would continue my other search on another day.

I read this book slowly, which if you knew me, is a non-event as I devour books. There was simply too much for me to learn within these pages, too much courage and vision to read it like a beach novel.

Go check these worthwhile organizations and stop back and share with us your thoughts:

www.threecupsoftea.com

www.penniesforpeace.org

www.ikat.org

My Open Letter to God            (Surface Earth: Copyright, 2006)

Dear God,

Dear Jesus,

Dear Lord,

Hey,

You,

Most respectfully.

I’ve been thinking. I’ve been reading, I’ve been studying, I’ve been questioning, obsessive, unable to sleep, unable to breathe, unable to be, trying to figure you out.

I’ve come to a conclusion, you don’t need to be figured out, do you? (Should that be a capital, like we do for judges, You? Your Honor?)

I’ve run away from Catholicism, into which I was born and bred.

I’ve wandered into the lost land of religions I have never known, having never been born into other sects in other lives, at least not that I remember.

I appreciated the old traditions of Catholicism, but could not understand its limitations. I moved to Buddhism thinking it was the furthest from anything I ever knew. I did not understand a word and felt as if an imposter, because instead of understanding the wisdom and inherent intellect of the Dalai Lama, a man who compelled me to want to hang his photograph on my walls for the mere wattage of his smile, I was only able to grasp, again and again, on the words, “loving kindness”.

I moved on to Kabbalah eventually, but first stepped back again into Catholicism. The virtual problem always encountered was my feeling of unworthiness. It did not matter that the pews were lined with hypocrites, thieves, corporate marauders, I only felt and saw my own infirmities, the girl who dared to stray from the righteous path. Oh, how little I yet was to know of Catholicism. Yet, there I went again, backing out the door, as the priest called us to disavow our sisters and brothers who were homosexuals, engaged in love without marriage, divorced or were faced with the soul wrenching choice of abortion. Jesus could not have cared, he could not have saved by condemnation.

I tiptoed into Kabbalah, drawn to the promise of mysticism. I learned to apply everyday behavioral modification techniques to teach myself not to judge. I wavered and stammered and tap danced around that one. Well what is judgment I want to know? When does it begin and when is it justified? Never was the response. Never, how could that be? Where would all of my righteous indignation go? Patience prevailed on my mentor and he kept at the same lesson, anger is dangerous and judgment is unnecessary, again and again. I was a slow learner, I had been through some less than fair situations in life, I wanted to place rightful anger somewhere, if only in my head. I don’t know what got me first, the idea of a vast nothingness of light which scared me and threatened my individuality, my someday to be discarded ego. I was too new to development, I did not understand that they had a point, I did not need my ego. I did learn though the tenants of fostering goodness to one another, daily, moment by moment without hesitation and without end.

I began to grasp the concept of oneness but felt diminished by my inability to truly grow. Was it because it had sprung from a different religious and cultural background and I felt the roots and the language without truly comprehending the origin? Had I fallen prey to negative media? No, in retrospect, my lack of knowledge made me feel smaller and smaller, highlighting my mental and spiritual infirmities, giving power to the bully, “you kidding me? You really believe that garbage? Look around you, there is no God.”

My ego’s need to be sane and rational and respected took over my gut and soul instincts. Was I simply not ready, not strong enough to consider myself part of the collective consciousness? I was humbled in the presence of the mere voice of Kabbalah, all forgiving, all knowing and without judgment. I was not yet strong enough.

I returned to Catholicism and loved the familiarity, the things I had grown with, knowing where to sit in the hard pews, sometimes even knowing the right time to kneel. I no longer worried about whether I genuflected at the right or wrong time, at the right or wrong angle, I simply let my heart bow to God, allowing my feelings of non-partisan spirituality and love of God to take over, feelings of grace, my heart simply lead my knee to bend in gratitude.

Trying on clothes in a dressing room with only one door in and out, faced with Fun House mirrors at three walls, disorientation had overcome me.

I began to read Sylvia Brown and bless that woman, my bones tell me she is the real thing. I began to learn that I could apply Kabbalah principles with Christian traditions I had come to love. The more I read and read and read, the more I saw and felt and lived the repetition of the common theme of love. To have love, is to erase the need for all other needs.

The underlying problem in trying out different religions is choosing to give up that which you have known. If I embraced Kabbalah, would I have to shrug off the mantle of the Virgin Mary and Jesus? I couldn’t, no matter how vast the picture and sensation of infinite light, Jesus’ face remained. And Mary, Azna, Mother God, she lived within breath. I know she is real, please don’t ask me how. I don’t care for statistics and sightings and tests and visualizations. Well, sure maybe I do, my point is simply, that I feel her.

I have gone into spiritual demise. I have watched and read about the Lost Gospel of Judas. Of course! Jesus is all knowing. He knew what Judas was or wasn’t, small surprise that we do not; rest assured, we will continue for monetary, economic, political, social, cultural or any other myriad of reasons to insist on the one interpretation of Jesus. For Pete’s sake, we can’t even remember our own dreams or what we ate for breakfast. Was Judas bad? Nah. Of course not. Why would Jesus choose him to carry out his fate? Did he tell Jesus, “thy will be done”? Jesus could not be tricked or betrayed, that is simply beneath him.

I have invited my arch angels and my spirit guides to come into our home when one of our daughters was facing inexplainable fatigue and headaches. Lights went on an off at different times in our home, certainly not in keeping with a power surge. The television surged and pulsed and practically danced. I asked them kindly to please enter more slowly in a way that would stop scaring me half to death as it wasn’t my time yet. I think they agreed. They are more subtle these last few days. Leaves that blow around the sidewalk out of nowhere, making a staccato beat, drawing my attention and then bowing and dancing. Pure artistry.

There are those that have contributed to the falsity of faith healing. It is unknown why people are compelled. I don’t question the participants that are impoverished, that perhaps received a sandwich, a promise of a bag of rice, a moment of peace before infidels or legitimate governments invaded their families, but how about the one that orchestrates it? Are they any different than a politician? A lawyer? A doctor that has lost heart? A teacher who does not teach? A parent who does not love?

Your truth echoes in the most simple of ways, the warmth that radiates though my bones causing my hands to become upturned to receive grace. It is that simple.

I have no problem, any longer, I can’t say that was always true, but I have no problem any longer not blaming you for what happens to us Lord. False persecution, so what? I should be insulted? We do it to each other everyday. “She cut me off, what a horrible person.” How do I know she was not rushing to the hospital to see a relative who unexpectedly encountered medical emergency? Is there truly any difference? Either one is character assignation and judgment without proof.

Am I religious?

I don’t know.

Do I believe in you?

Yes.

I believe in You/you, Jesus, the Holy Spirit and Mary. I believe there are saints. I believe there are angels. I believe there is evil, that sometimes there can be no other rational explanation, but I believe evil is our inability to discover our souls.

The sickness of the false messiahs brings bad publicity to you, to Jesus.

There are miracles, there are the unexplainable moments and times that are pure miracles, leaps of faith. Why do people claim that power when its only source has ever been and could only be you? Didn’t you tell us everything is there for our taking, we must only see? Electricity was discovered, not invented, right God?

Now don’t get me wrong. I don’t know anymore than the next person, but I hold certain things to be true. If you say one thing and do another you are hypocritical. If you are aware of it and don’t own up to it, you are a coward. If you gossip, you cause bad air to fly and it will come back to you, and yes, the smallest utterances are gossip. If you speak to satisfy your ego, you will receive less than you desired because you have already lost your state of grace.

How do we sit together in loving Christian kindness and denounce “others”, who, more often than not, are closer to God whether they believe in him or not, simply in acts of kindness and their reliability of spirit?

**

God, I’m back, I don’t know if I am just chatter in your head or if my voice sings with others.

A bluebird landed in my tree.

He sat high above the purple flowers

Which grew and grew

Taller

Although I didn’t even know their name

It did not stop the trees or the flowers from growing

God

A tulip grew out from behind the

Red dirty rock

Next to the untended cement sidewalk

And a tulip sought to make its presence known

Next to the bend

Of that same untended sidewalk

I tried to unearth it with a shovel

Before the purple of the tulip

Grew

The ground would not give

God

The trees are spreading

Their limbs across the gray

Of today’s sky

Purple, red and pink strewn together

They will not last the storm

Yet they have never been

More exuberant

Than set against the

Mist and the closed sky

God

My child

Said

“Oh My God”

Not in praise

But in exasperation with my

Confused new to almost middle age ways

I continued breathing

God

I saw on television

An almost tall white man

Performing miracles

Later

Undone

You did not star in that show

God

I held an egg today

Cracked it

To take out the yolk

Because I can’t bear to eat

Someone else’s young

Who was the first to know

That to take the egg from the mother

Would give complete protein

And not kill her

Who decided

The egg was not an egg

When South Dakota says it is?

God

In your infinite wisdom

Did you leave us a travel guide?

The best spots

The best words

The best reactions?

Were they rated in stars?

Have you had overzealous editors so now

Your words are no longer yours?

Thoughts on living

Living thoughts

Dear Lord,

I pray today,

Because of you.

Today I missed Mass God.

I awoke at 8:30 a.m. – quite late for me on a Sunday morning. I wanted to go to mass. I felt quite desolate that it had been two weeks since. I awoke as the rest of the house slept, ran out for the Sunday papers, stole a moment to read and drink coffee and left my beautiful family asleep.

I arrived at church and saw next to no cars. The people I saw look accomplished upon leaving. Wait, wait, I thought, I am unfinished, I have just arrived.

I hurried in the door, stopping to glance at the greeting table, a lovely polished wood that seemed to hold all I would need to know to be a practicing Catholic in this town.

The lovely newness of this church, the beginning of the mass, to walk though this room of grace and openness and splendor with just one table with papers, and newsletters and charts upon which to fill your name—if you are lost, we can find you, it seemed to say. So I believed.

I walked to that table, because I had seen it before.

I was no longer worried if I dipped my hand too soon into the Holy water, if I genuflected before I should or at the wrong angle, and that thing everyone seemed to know how to do in their sleep, that three point wonder, the thumb dancing across their forehead, their middle face and their heart? I no longer worried if I did it right. “Peace be with you.” “And also with you,” I said from my heart, with my hands turned up to God with arms outstretched.

I still did wonder sometimes though how I was never taught that three point wonder. How could I have missed it all of those years? Sure, I didn’t go to parochial school daily but I attended Catechism classes, I took the nuns seriously even as I walked along the rock wall outside of St. Anthony’s afraid they would see me, the sinners’ child, the divorced one.

How could it be, all those Saturday evenings at St. Brendan’s, mandatory Saturday evening mass with dinner at Howard Johnson’s afterward, my grandfather singing Louis Armstrong so I didn’t know where the jukebox began and his voice ended? My grandmother daring to order dessert after picking through cottage cheese and fruit for dinner, taking 45 minutes longer than the rest of us to finish her meal? My brother and I climbing in and out and over and under the table, and my grandmother sitting there, unperturbed, seeing only her little world. How could that be?

Because we see what we see Lord,

What we choose to see.

None of us are right or wrong.

I simply went to Mass to tune in to you.

Hi.

Did you know I started to go to healing masses? Yes, I felt much like my debacle mass after mass with the three point gesture and became further indignant that no one ever taught me how to pray the rosary. Thank you for letting us discover the Internet, where I looked for remedial Catholicism courses.

Yes. I went to healing masses. Yes, I watched the news. I know the media was not supporting miracles, but listen, I saw them for myself, ok? The sweet surrender to the Holy Spirit, coming back from the ground lying prone, the flood of tears after a blessing, the tears uncontrollable for ten or fifteen minutes. Did you know Lord, it was only after the Mass that I learned of Padre Pio and the flood of tears? All the priest said to me is “let you be flooded with happiness”, and I cried and cried, my right arm shaking, unable to wipe away or stop the tears. I knew then Lord, I knew to stop fighting the miracle of you, despite the fact of not being surrounded by anyone who believes. The more I thought God, the more I knew, I never should have needed the flood of tears, I should have just seen the less than loving actions of my contemporaries to know there must be something higher.

I still missed mass that day Lord and have not returned regularly since then because you live in me, I don’t mind joining in, but I won’t condemn in prayer. Did you make me forget to turn the clocks?

I woke up flat God.

I woke up uneven.

Doesn’t make sense does it? How can I be flat and uneven at the same time? Did you know it was heresy to state that the world was round? That’s what we are when we are even, Lord, we are round, circular, without beginning or end.

Today I stayed quiet through my flatness. I didn’t take it out on anyone. It was a big day for me.

Did you ever jam to music? Let your arms fly about and get lost and by getting lost get found? I know, they say you are Light. They say you are all encompassing and can be nothing and everything at once, but by being everything you also become nothing as we know it.

I think though Lord, that you might be dancing, your face turned toward the light, and not just only the light itself. I hope I get no hate mail from saying this, but I believe you sing and dance, and I think your voice might be slightly off-key.

**

My mind shifted to the right

At first I thought

That I was lightheaded

Sugar balance off

I blended with the air

There was no distinction

Not gray against white against green

Not blue against the yellow of the sun

My mind shifted to the right

I felt the quiet pleasure of

Pushing that space away

I wondered and worried

Not knowing what it meant

Then today

I stood there n the kitchen

The coolness of the counter against my hand

My mind shifted to the right

Making room

If I smelled the lilac

In the hall

And no one was there

Would I be wrong?

If I dreamed of a big open book

With golden edging

A dove flying from its middle

Tendrils of ivy from its beak

Mid air

Would I be wrong?

**

Good evening God.

I feel like sometimes I need a sabbatical from my brain. I don’t feel that way right now, well, not entirely, but I would like a sabbatical for the blocks I have put in my mind that keep me from seeing how to grow.

How to devote my life to writing, creativity, art, the continued search and study of spirituality, gardening, playing with the kids, quiet meals with my family, simply loving my husband.

It’s as if I spent this earthly life with a purpose of building fences to keep myself from expanding from my soul. And on top of that choose to be a litigation attorney, joke is on me, right?

*

I live in the abyss of heavens

In the valleys on earth

Striving for the moments

Of existence

Yet uncounted

I sit in a crowd

Of those who judge and ferment

And never do I hear the word “God”

I scratch my head and wonder

Why I don’t have the answers

When I was raised to have the answers

To not

Was to be defenseless

I scratch upon the table

The numbers

The figures

To tell me

Who is cheating whom

I smile

Because there is no sense in frowning

Jesus loved all

Who am I

To love less?

Asking for a sign

Receiving one after another

I share and am met with disbelief

M grandfather standing in the parking lot

Of the local foodstore

Watching me pull out of my parking space

But waiting first

To make sure

The elderly couple next to me

Were done

Were safe

He stood there

I thought scowling at first

Preconceiving me to be

A young whippersnapper

And then

He pushed down his cap

Hooked his index finger

To his thumb

It’s ok, kiddo

He said

Thanks.

Ten years gone from this earth

I stopped

Then started

A smile

A nod

Letting him go.

I have tried

To take care of those

He left behind

I have, haven’t I?

Haven’t I tried?

Lord

Didn’t I try

Can you read me?

**

Why don’t I talk to you? Wouldn’t it make more sense? Why do I send you a letter? Am I really that worried that too many others are begging at the same time?

We humans are like ants scurrying for the hills, knowing the big human feet are above us and can stamp us out for no reason at all, but continuing our predictable patterns to the end.

Where do we begin and end Lord?

Is it with the talking animals? Do we save those we respect and slaughter the others? Even if that means expanding the definition of our fellow brothers and sister?

I’m sorry, but I just don’t get it, no one has given us the text book of the earth, and if they have, we’ve borrowed and copied and altered and destroyed and have left only those pages that suit us.

How can I sit in my lush home on a Sunday morning and see a young girl in Dafur, a photograph in time spread against my kitchen table, of a young girl raped? How can I possibly go on with my day when a child, only one, has been shot in the foot by those same rapists, tattooing her for the fate ahead? How can I possibly bear my own privileged existence?

* *

Dear Lord:

There must be answers somewhere. I’m simply not clever or learned enough to find them, but I know they are here.

All my life, all I have ever wanted to do is write, primarily, to get people to understand humanity, that we are all one. That there is no beginning and no end and what you do to my brother or sister, you do to me. Lines of politics, sex, national origin, religion, are simply just excuses for us not to help one another.

Did you know this is my land Lord? The land stolen is now ours? The one they want to build walls around so starving children can remain starving? Who is wrong Lord? Us or them? Or me for even fashioning a question that includes an us and them?

Can I ever wirte Lord without worrying that what I write is not worthy? Or what I write will not be misconstrued, pulled into something that was never intended? A plaything for my unintended audience? Do I dare to be silent the rest of the years You have given me here? Is that my lesson? To shut up and be quiet and hide in the face of so much atrocity? To suffer it, a self inflicted martyr? Or a willing accomplice?

Many of the ones who seek to do justice in this world dispense judgment, right or wrong, without regard to the injustice they hand out, is that right Lord? Does one balance the other? I know it doesn’t but I watch the news and no one cares, even me, as I stop at the food store stocking up for my family and my family alone.

At any rate Lord, you know me, right down to the center of my soul, far removed from my heart, lower, deeper, higher, more shallow, everywhere and nowhere. Simply almost undetectable here on earth-you know what I’m about. You know I’d love more guidance, a simple how-to book to make the world better, but heck, I’m 39, in earthly standards, I’ve been waiting awhile and it’s not here. Help me Lord. Just give me a list. Tell me how to stop the hurting.

**

God is here. God is here. God is here.

Allow him to use you.

Without those words, myself and many like me would be lost. How do you meander through a day? How do you forget the grace of each miracle that gives you a day?

God has spoken and he has said that you should love and show forgiving kindness.

This same statement echoes throughout the majority of all religions, why then, are we so lost? What is there to figure out? Forgive and forget. Continue to love. Leave anger at the door. It never means that we go back for more abuse, nor does it mean that we gossip or cause harm to others, no matter what they may have done to us. We move on, in loving kindness.

Dear Lord:

Has there been a moment when you have simply shaken your head? Forgotten where you are in the script, where the director left off and the actors took over? I doubt that. Free will. Really, just two words, but oh so powerful. They give us both ownership and liability, the two never to be divorced.

I have seen you and felt you, both in the moments when people watch and what they don’t. As cool as it is Lord to say I love you, people still look askance and wonder if someone loving Jesus is just a freak who doesn’t have a job.

Can you help us?

**

Hi God. I woke up again today. It’s a lovely day. Thank you.

What do we do? As we wait? We start up blogs, we look for people of similar interests to join together and get ideas going, get momentum tha will have any chance of actually accelerating into anything close to a change.

The format isn’t perfect, we would need money to do that, but it’s a start, why not help each other within zipcodes? Why not strengthen from within and move out?

I rode down the road the other day, 35 miles from home. It was a route that took me through many different faces.

I watched, toward the end of my drive, a police officer, stop all traffic heading toward primarily government and university work, to allow the children to cross for school. A neighborhood where the “crossing guard” needed a certified gun. I watched him stop traffic to give this one family at least the chance to cross the road. A car, impatient, insisted on taking a left turn before it was clear. The police officer’s face turned red with disgust and frustration…….I watched, almost late to Court……….why did this young man have to take his time to explain to someone why it was important to lead tomorrow’s adults safely across the street? Were there words to explain the shame of us all that it was even necessary to have to accompany young children across the street, that we, as collective parents of today’s children, could not do better?

Is there a line that should not be crossed in giving?

When you give of yourself, is there a point when you give too much, leaving yourself depleted and with less to give in the end?

Is there a point when it is not selfishness to preserve yourself, because in the preservation, you maintain a more solid foundation from which to give?

By accruing wealth, and then determining how to expend it, do you in essence give more?

Or is it in working in a non-profit sector, where perhaps you give more each moment, that there is more to give?

Does it matter, as long as you are truly giving?

no, not my words. just a shared feeling. wanted to put up the YouTube link to the video, just not sure it’s not copyright infringement.

Watch it, however you can, whatever is legal: John Mayer: Waiting on the World to Change

Then tell me, why is it that we are waiting?

I read an interesting piece in this week’s New York magazine, entitled: The Have Lots and the Have Nots”.

The premise was to expound upon the disparity of wealth in New York and to fairly try to depict, is the existence of such vast wealth a bonus or a negative or is it at least a positive if it helps one person?

I don’t know. I know that we may feel we don’t need to help fellow adults, hey, they have the same opportunity as everyone else to get ahead right? But then some feel we have an obligation to help the children of those same adults because the children don’t have much of a chance to get ahead.

Then again, today’s adults were yesterday’s children and so on.

It’s two days later. The holiday for children is now passed.

What hasn’t passed is an image we saw, a moment in time………

Gangs of kids were running together up and down the street, groups together, laughing, talking…………..

Up the road come a girl, the same age as the groups of other children, but she held the hand of a younger child, a boy, maybe her brother, and a grandmother marched slightly ahead of them with a flashlight…..

In that moment, maybe we added more to the story than truly existed, but watching the young girl’s straight back, her sure steps, her firm hold on her brother’s hand…we wondered how she felt surrounded by all of the other kids.

Did they know her? Ignore her? Did no one else invite her to trick or treat with them?

It reminded us that even today, there are children for no set reasons, who do not have friends and go through their days watching others enjoy natural friendships and wonder what is wrong with them. Yet, as adults we know there is nothing wrong with them, somehow they fell outside of the social track, and in many case, it will be a long and hard road.

What do you think of this?  Parents and/or children can give money to a school fund held for those that may need it, the sixteen dollars for the music book that’s just not in the budget, the overnight school trip that costs almost two hundred dollars without supplies………suppose people in the community could give into the fund?  anonymous donations?  it’s not about recognition, suppose you skip taking the family to the movies?  don’t buy filet mignon?  skip the extra pair of shoes?  or maybe scrape together five bucks to contribute just because it feels good?

then, suppose, parents could access or apply for those funds, a hardship wish, and no one but the administrator has to know who is receiving the funds?

Thoughts anyone?